


Spider-Gram

by Stripes_040527



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: And Bucky is a shit, Friday LOVES vines, Meme King Thor, Meme Lord Peter Parker, Teen for swearing and that's it, Tony is a very tired father, Vines, pure stupidity, referential humour out the wazoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-02-16 00:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18680584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stripes_040527/pseuds/Stripes_040527
Summary: “So, do you want to explain this to me?”Peter looked at Tony guiltily, shuffling his feet.“It wasn’t supposed to get this big,” he mumbled. “It was mostly just for me and Ned.”Tony pulled up a picture, showing it to Peter.“Over a million likes, kid.”Peter started an Instagram to show Ned and MJ Avengers fails and stupid things that Clint did.Shuri convinced him to make it public.It escalated.





	1. Chapter 1

“So, do you want to explain this to me?”  
Peter looked at Tony guiltily, shuffling his feet.  
“It wasn’t supposed to get this big,” he mumbled. “It was mostly just for me and Ned.”  
Tony pulled up a picture, showing it to Peter.  
“Over a million likes, kid.”  
The picture in question was of Captain America, caught mid-fall.  
The caption was simple, purely “when you realise 2030 is closer than 2005”  
“Look, it’s kind of a long story,” Peter admitted.  
“I’ve got time.”  
Tony crossed his arms.  
“It’s mostly Shuri’s fault. It was her idea to make it public.”

Snapchat had been Peter’s original platform.  
Ned and MJ were the only ones who he sent the photos to, stupid photos of the Avengers and videos of them being idiots.  
Then Instagram had gotten big, and he’d set up a private account to post the photos and videos to, sharing it with his friends.

Then there was the Bucky Incident, as he’d labelled it, so he’d shared the account with him.  
Somehow Shuri had gotten a hold of it, and suddenly he had 106 million followers debating whether it was real or not.

“The Bucky Incident?” Tony asked.  
“Look, it’s not as bad as it sounds.”

They’d been training, Peter trying to win without using his webs.  
He’d lost miserably, but he’d gotten a good kick in, sending Bucky down.  
Laying on the ground, Bucky had said “I think I just need help”, a whine creeping into his voice.  
Peter, standing over him, had reacted on instinct.  
“Cool robot arm!” he said forcefully, before clapping his hands over his face. “Oh no Mister Barnes, I didn’t mean to, it’s a vine, I just-"  
Bucky had cut him off with a laugh.  
“Thank god someone understands that reference. Every time I say it, Steve panics.”  
Peter had taken a step back, eyes going wide as he watched Bucky stand.  
“I… you… What?”  
“What? You think I spend all day training? Gotta get some meme culture in somewhere.”  
“Oh my god Bucky Barnes knows vines,” Peter had said. “Holy sweet Jesus, this can’t be happening.”

“So Barnes pays attention to the internet? Why doesn’t this surprise me?” Tony asked.  
“Mister Stark, he’s beyond anything I’ve seen before. Almost everything he says is a reference.”  
“Glossing over that, how does Shuri factor in?”  
“Well, it’s pretty straightforward honestly.”

They’d been in a meeting post-mission, a debrief to discuss plans going forward.  
Peter had managed to score an invite, rather than being sent straight home.  
He rarely was invited to meetings, let alone planning ones, so he’d bounded into the meeting room, still wearing his mask and suit.  
Once they were all seated, T’Challa had taken the lead.  
Shuri had dialled in for it, face appearing on the screen as she listened in and discussed weapon upgrades with Tony.  
Peter had, mercifully, managed to keep himself from saying or doing anything stupid.  
Until Steve had spoken up to ask a question.  
“Ah, hello Captain Dinner Plate,” Shuri had said, with a thick German accent.  
Nat snickered and Peter started screaming, clapping his hands over his mouth to muffle the sound.  
He stood abruptly, having to leave the conference room to calm down, Bucky following, laughing loudly.  
“I… don’t understand that reference,” Steve admitted.  
“Shuri,” T’Challa had said with a heavy sigh. “Please don’t reference those plant videos during a meeting.”

“Oh I remember that,” Tony said with a nod. “Shuri showed us all the Captain America videos she could find.”  
“We had to ban them,” Peter added. “Upset him too much.”

Shuri had shown them vines, a whole compilation making fun of Captain America’s shield.  
Steve had gotten defensive, holding his shield in his lap.  
“It’s a good shield!” he’d insisted, after a vine calling the shield a trash can lid had played.  
“We know Steve, we know,” Nat had said, patting his shoulder.  
A vine had played, essentially calling Captain America sexist and racist based on growing up in the 40s.  
Steve’s face had dropped, his eyebrows furrowing together.  
“I’m not… I don’t… God, is that what people think I’m like?” he’d asked helplessly.  
“No!” Peter had said quickly. “Not at all. It’s just a fun joke.”  
“You should see what they say about Stark,” Shuri had added.  
“Okay no, enough, we can’t derail our meeting to discuss pop culture references to the team,” Tony had said firmly, forcing them all back on topic.  
“Friday?” Peter had whispered to the wall. “Can you block all vines referencing Captain America from here?”  
“Sure thing Peter.”  
“You’re the best… after Karen.”  
“I will allow you to say that and live.”  
“Thanks Fri.”

“This is all well and good, but how did Shuri get a hold of the account?” Tony asked.  
“There’s a really simple answer for that but it relies on you understanding that I make bad choices when people put me on the spot.”

After the meeting, Shuri had called Peter.  
“So, Spider-Man, I hear you have an Instagram full of the Avengers being dumb?” she’d asked.  
“How did you… Mister Barnes is a traitor!”  
“How about I’ll send you my Instagram to look at and then you can share yours?”  
Peter had nodded slowly.  
“Okay, but no promises on sharing mine.”  
“Oh, you’ll be want to once you see this.”  
A second later a message had popped up on his phone, a link to an Instagram.  
He put the call on speaker and clicked the link.  
It was a public account, Shuri’s own, and it was almost entirely videos.  
The videos were mostly of her, referencing vines and blowing up things in her lab, but some were of T’Challa.  
The most recent was him running in a training centre, before tripping over something unseen.  
All you could hear was him swearing and Shuri cackling.  
“Shuri! Stop it!” he bellowed  
“Not until you say it, brother!”  
“I will not!”  
“Then I’ll keep sabotaging you!”  
“Fine!”  
He had walked up to the camera, standing in front of her with his hands curled into fists.  
“Wakanda nonsense is this?” he’d asked, glaring at the camera.  
Then he’d launched at her and the video had cut off.  
“See? You should share yours now,” Shuri had said, startling Peter.  
He had, in all honesty, forgotten she was on the call still.  
“Okay, fine.”

“Shuri showed you an Instagram full of T’Challa fails and you thought you might as well show her what you have,” Tony said, pinching the bridge of his nose.  
“Yeah.”  
“That seems fair. Not as bad a choice as I was expecting.”  
“Oh, no no no, the bad choice comes now.”

Shuri’s goal in life was to embarrass her brother and her weapon of choice was Instagram. She had taken one look at Peter’s Instagram and declared it gold.  
“You have to share this with the world!” she had told him. “Turn off private, please, I beg of you.”  
“Mister Stark would kill me!”  
“You’d die historic, on the fury road!”  
“I’ll consider it.”  
“You will have to clean up the in jokes and all the videos with your face though.”  
Peter had paused.  
“My face?”  
“Yeah, Peter. I found out who you are instantly.”  
Peter buried his face in his hands.  
“I’m so bad at having a secret identity.”  
“Stop having one then,” she had said with a shrug. “No one else does.”

“This better not be the bad choice,” Tony warned. “Or royalty or not, she’s dead.”  
“No, that’s not it! The bad choice is opening the account to the public, which she spent about three minutes convincing me to do, then asked Bucky if he agreed, which he did.”  
“Oh kid, you don’t have a spine at all, do you?”  
“The moral backbone of a chocolate eclair,” Peter admitted, eyes downcast.  
“I… I give up trying to understand you, it’s like you speak a whole other language.”  
“It’s a bit from… look, never mind. The point is I opened it up and now the world has seen Captain America fall down the stairs and the Black Widow punch Bucky Barnes in the face because he stole her Lucky Charms.”  
“Jesus Christ, Peter. She’s going to murder you.”  
“Well, actually she knows.”  
“Wait, Barnes and Nat know? Who else?”  
“Mister Banner, Vision, Thor, Wanda. They all think it’s really funny. Oh and Mister Lang and Mister Wilson.”  
“Why do you call some of them Mister or Miss but not others?” Tony asked, briefly side-tracked.  
“Some of them are friends, and some of them are people who boss me around, and then some of them are people I don’t know well enough to call friends but would like to someday. But this is beside the point.”  
“You’re darn skippy it is. Am I on there?”  
Peter nodded, pulling out his phone and pulling up a post.

It was a video of Tony, wearing Iron Man boxers and a fluffy bathrobe, yelling at Steve about cleaning his lab.  
Steve had brushed it off, heading out of the room.  
Tony had gone to follow, but the tie from his bathrobe had gotten caught in a drawer, pulling him back.  
He’d landed on his ass, hard.  
“Fucking fuck, this is fucking bullshit, I fucking hate this place.”  
Nat, who was sitting on the couch, had piped up with “I hate this town, I hate this family!”  
“I’m running away!” Tony had yelled from his spot on the floor.

Tony took the phone from his hands and threw it out the window.  
“I’m not giving you a new one for 7 days.”  
Peter nodded, crestfallen.  
“And when May asks why you no longer have a phone, you can explain it’s because you were being a little shit.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nat gets involved, the Instagram spreads, bleach comes into play, and furries are discussed

Nat had given Peter a new phone an hour later.  
“Did you back up everything?” she asked as she handed him the box.  
“Yeah, I’ve got back ups on back ups.”  
“Good.”

“Thanks Miss Romanov."  
“Call me Nat, Peter.”  
“I don’t think I will,” he admitted, watching her nervously.  
She laughed, somewhat smug.  
“Give Stark a few days and he’ll calm down. He’ll think it’s hilarious once he goes through it all.”  
Peter nodded glumly.  
“I didn’t mean for it to get this big.”  
“Well, that’s what happens when you post videos of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes being dinguses.” 

Tony had calmed down in 12 hours and was on board with the Instagram in 16.  
He had, however, also figured out the password.  
The next post was up shortly after that. 

The video was of a pre-mission meeting a month before, from Friday’s cameras.  
Peter hadn’t been paying attention as Steve and Tony talked tactics for taking a base.  
He was sat at the table, nodding his head like he was listening to music.  
“Is there anything better than pussy?” he sang quietly.  
The entire room stopped, everyone turning to look at him like he’d grown a second head.  
“I… uhhh… oh no,” he said, the eyes on his mask widening.  
“Yeah, a really good book!” Bucky yelled.  
Friday made a chiming keyboard noise over the speaker.  
Peter slid under the table, saying “I wish I was dead”. 

“This is high treason,” MJ declared at lunch. “He can’t do that.”  
“He absolutely can,” Ned said. “And he absolutely did. Dude it was so funny. It’s all anyone can talk about at the moment.”  
Peter contemplated sliding under the table like in the video, but he knew MJ would just kick him in the face if he tried.  
“So, what now?”  
“Just keep posting as usual,” MJ said. “We will get him back later. When he’s not expecting it.” 

The next post was Bucky walking through the compound with Peter sitting on his shoulders.  
PYT played over the speakers as Peter danced.  
“I don’t understand this one,” Clint admitted when he saw it.  
“Oh, I’ll show you the vine it's from,” Nat said. “Trust me, it’s perfect.” 

Nat had gotten hold of the account after she’d gotten into an argument with Tony.  
Fuming, she’d taken herself down to the training area to work out her frustrations.  
Bucky had sparred with her for a while, barely keeping up as she’d flipped him and left him on the mat over and over again.  
“What’s up your ass?” he’d spluttered out, pulling himself up to standing.  
“Stark is an asshole.”  
“That’s nothing new.”  
She’d snarled and jumped at him, her thighs wrapping around his head and elbows hitting his back repeatedly.  
“Want to see something funny?” he had asked, after she’d let him go.  
Her curiosity had won out in the end, and he had shown her a video of Tony getting hit in the face by his own helmet, a test of a suit that could be called remotely that had gone hilariously wrong.  
Nat had help Bucky’s phone like it was made of gold as he explained the account.  
Then and there, she had pledged her allegiance to him and Peter.  
She’d gleefully given Peter the footage of her punching Bucky in the face after he ate the last of her cereal, and from then had been a powerful ally. 

Slowly the account had spread, Nat telling Clint and Bucky telling Sam, who in turn told Scott.  
Friday shared it with Vision, who told Wanda.  
Even Maria Hill knew about it, placing her hand on Peter’s shoulder and telling him that if she ever, for any reason, ended up on it, she would kill him.  
Peter didn’t doubt that for a second and silently deleted several photos and videos from his phone. 

The videos and photos were a mix, some taken on phones, some from suit cams, and a surprising amount from Friday’s video feed.  
Friday, herself, had started to join in.  
Peter had shared vines with her when he first started hanging out at the compound, finding that most of his references were completely missed, or at times, met with confusion and concern.  
A few of the Avengers, Nat and Clint mostly, had understood the complete genius of his hysterical breakfast smoothie video, but it had lead to several worried lectures from Steve and Tony. 

The video in question was Peter, in complete Spider-Man get up, explaining how to make the perfect smoothie.  
Stood in front of a blender, he’d said that the best way to get started for the day was with a complete and balanced meal.  
Then, he’d pulled out a bottle of bleach.  
Nat had been filming, and managed to pan the camera just in time to catch Steve’s face as he saw Peter about to take a swig from the bottle.  
“What the _fuck_ ,” he’d yelled, right before jumping at Peter and tackling him to the ground.  
Nat had posted it, captioning it “millennial humour does not appear to be cross-generational”.  
The following press conference, where Peter had to say that it wasn’t him encouraging people to drink bleach and that it was referential humour, was one of the most embarrassing things he’d ever had to do.  
Second only to the lecture from Aunt May that he’d had to sit through when he’d gotten home. 

Nat and Clint were, for the most part, on board with all of his hilarious schemes, but they were away a lot and still slow to catch up some of the more niche parts of his references.  
They’d enthusiastically joined in on “I don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets” pretty quickly, but “OMG cholesterol” was taking longer.  
The video of the two of them screaming after Peter yelled “it’s Wednesday my dudes” had been thoroughly enjoyed and turned into a vine itself though, so Peter counted that as a win. 

So, Friday had become Peter’s go to girl.  
His girl Friday, if you will.  
And he would. 

The highlight of having Friday on side was easy: she hoovered up memes and vines and threw out references at the most unexpected of times.  
The best, in Peter’s humble opinion, was the Fight.  
This opinion was generally agreed upon by most of the internet, much to his delight and Tony’s dismay - Tony, who was sure that Peter sliding under the table was the best thing that’d happened to the internet.

The Fight was the peak of Friday’s humour, and even she was proud of it, often reminding them how many view and likes it had on Instagram.  
Bucky and Steve had been sparring, when Steve had managed to knock Bucky down.  
He landed on his back, hard.  
“Mmmmm whatcha sayyyyyy,” Peter had sung, “mmmm that you only meant well.”  
Steve had turned to look at him, eyebrows furrowed.  
“Is this another vine thing? I thought we agreed no more vines.”  
“No Mister Rogers! I promise!”  
“Mmmmm whatcha sayyyyyy,” started playing over the speakers, Friday joining in.  
“Kid, I will knock you out,” Bucky said from the floor.  
“Mmmm whatcha- mmmm whatcha- mmmm whatcha” rang out.  
“Nice going, you broke Friday.”  
“Dear sister, by the time you read this, I’ll be dead,” Friday said.  
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Bucky said, shaking his head. “You’re a menace, kid.”  
“Thanks Friday!” Peter called faux-fistbumping the ceiling.  
“You’re welcome. One day you’ll understand why I am better than Karen,” she said cheerfully. 

This wasn’t the only fight to be noteworthy, however.  
Peter was exceptionally proud of all of the videos involving fights.  
One of his favourites was him filming Tony punching Steve in the face.  
They were both in their sleep clothes, Tony complete with fluffy bunny slippers and Iron Man pyjamas.  
The camera flipped to Peter, mask on, saying “the Jonas brothers can’t break up, they’re brothhhheeers” 

The other video that had garnered attention was Bucky and Steve, beginning with an argument about training.  
Bucky had point blank called Steve wrong and an idiot, leading to Steve jabbing his finger in Bucky’s chest as he listed all the reasons he was wrong.  
Within 3 seconds, Steve was on his ass as Bucky hit him repeatedly in the thigh.  
“Can I get a waffle?” Peter yelled as they fought. “Can I _please_ get a waffle?” 

“People love a vine reference,” MJ said to Peter as they studied for a chemistry test. “Like, they really love it. But maybe we should branch out more. Your feed is 90% vine references, but very little original content. And everyone loved the Black Widow punching the Winter Soldier over cereal. We need more pure Avengers dysfunction.”  
Shuri had, unfortunately, agreed.  
She had also given him some footage of T’Challa, so Peter conceded the point. 

The T’Challa footage was worth its weight in gold.  
It was him eating dinner, Shuri filming.  
“Whatever you want,” he started, without looking up, “you will not get it from me, sister.”  
“I don’t want anything, brother. Except maybe your opinion on something.”  
“Is it boys?”  
“No!”  
“Then you may ask.”  
“What’s a furry?”  
T’Challa choked on his steak.  
“Some people have been saying you are a furry for dressing up like a cat. Are you a furry?”  
He glared at her, thumping his chest as he coughed.  
“Brother, are you a furry?”  
“I’m not talking to you anymore,” he said, turning away and continuing to eat.  
The camera flipped to a grinning Shuri.  
“You heard it here first everyone. He won’t answer the question, so that means yes. Yes, my brother is a furry.”  
Off screen T’Challa yelled at her.  
“I am not! It’s an ancient familial tradition to honour the noble panther! Why do people have to do this?!” 

Peter thought the video might be the best thing she’d ever sent him, right up until he spoke to her on the phone.  
He was in the lounge area with Nat and Clint, formulating the next prank video, when he picked up the call.  
“So,” she said, far too innocently. “If my brother is a furry for dressing up like a panther, what are you, Spider-Man?”  
“I don’t like your insinuation,” Peter told her petulantly.  
“Are there bug furries? Like a… I don’t know… exoskeletal insect-y?”  
“Spider’s aren’t insects!”  
“Denial does not suit you, Peter. I can see in your soul, and your soul tells me you’re a bug furry.”  
“They’re called buggies,” Nat said from the couch.  
“I hate both of you and myself,” Peter said, then hung up the phone. 

The next video posted was of Peter hitting himself in the face with his webbing when his shooters backfired.  
The web formula was unfortunately sticky, and he quickly got both hands stuck to his mask trying to get it off.  
Then his foot, when he’d attempted to use it to pry off his hands.  
It ended with a string of almost words.  
“Mother trucking, Jesus H, frickedy frackedy, what the knick knack paddy wack bullshot is this?” he’d yelled.  
Friday had captured it all.  
And Shuri had gotten a hold of it.  
Peter had decided then and there that he would never hang up on Shuri again. 

MJ called him that night.   
“You fool,” she’d said, in lieu of an actual greeting. “It’s time to step up. There’s been way too much Spider-Man and not enough everyone else.”  
Peter groaned.  
“I think it’s time for the shoe video.”  
“Seriously, MJ? That’s old as hell.”  
“It’s fun, it’s silly, and Stark will kill Barton when he sees it. Takes all the heat off you for a while.”  
“When you’re right, you’re right,” he said with a sigh, hanging up and letting the phone fall on the bed beside him.

The shoe video was a classic, one of the first ever sent to MJ and Ned.  
He’d saved it because of his deep love for rewatching the second half whenever he had a bad day.  
The first half was simple; Tony, with a dog filter over his face, as he yelled at everyone.  
“Someone has taken my shoes! All of them! I can not find a single shoe of mine _anywhere in this fucking compound_ ,” he’d yelled, standing with his hands on his hips as the rest of the Avengers lazed on the couches.  
The video zoomed in slowly, until all you could see was Tony’s eyes and nose as he yelled.  
The second half of the video was Clint, standing on the roof of the building, giving the thumbs up as he held up a box full of shoes.  
He had loaded them into a slingshot (“Tony’s personal design that I stole and modified for pranking purposes,” he’d boasted to the camera) and sent them flying.  
Then, one by one, he’d shot them with arrows, explosive arrow heads going off and filling the sky with sparks and fire.

MJ was right though, it definitely did take the heat off Peter for a while.  
It also helped that he then posted a video of Steve, inexplicably in full Captain America get up, standing in the kitchen.  
He looked down sadly at the floor, littered with popcorn, then at his hands in which he held the broken bag.  
“Well… fuck,” he’d said with a sad sigh.

Between Steve getting upset about all the popcorn that had been lost that day, and Tony hunting down Clint, Peter managed to slide under the radar for at least a week.  
And honestly, he was grateful for the reprieve.  
Vining was _exhausting_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friday showed Vision the Instagram because he's her big brother and she wanted to make him laugh, in case you were wondering
> 
> I've written up a couple of chapters that I'll add to this once I read through them and hopefully catch all the spelling/grammar errors!
> 
> It's not a story so much as a little slice of life, so don't expect twisting plotlines and character development, they're just all idiots locked in a compound together, annoying each other and being painful


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint definitely didn't kill JFK, Steve breaks Peter's phone, and Nat is incredibly capable with a gun

The fact that Nat and Clint were spies seemed to be forgotten on a regular basis around the compound, and online.  
Their fame after joining the Avengers and fighting in New York had put their faces everywhere, and their callsigns, Black Widow and Hawkeye, had become family names.  
Halloween following the invasion attempt had been full of the expected Captain Americas and Iron Mans, but some kids had also dressed as the archer and assassin, much to Clint and Nat’s delight.  
This had lead to issues in their line of work, especially as Nat became the face of the Avengers politically, taking Tony’s place as the person to talk to the UN and Senate.  
They were still going on missions constantly, but their parameters had changed.

The two of them constantly being on Peter’s Instagram had also plastered their faces everywhere.  
Nat especially, as she aided and abetted Peter and Bucky regularly.

At one point, Bucky had leaned over to say “hey lil mama let me whisper in your ear” to her, leading to Steve glaring at Bucky.  
“Seriously, Buck? Come on,” he said, crossing his arms. “Leave her alone, that’s so inappropriate.”  
Nat whirled around to Steve, staring at him blankly.  
Then, she’d said “tell you something that you might like to hear”.  
Peter had managed to zoom in on Steve’s face as he sighed heavily, body sagging.  
“I don’t even know what to do with you all anymore.”

Nat and Bucky were quickly solidified with Peter as the fun Avengers, the ones keeping the account afloat with their absurd references and willingness to rile up Steve and Tony.  
When a video of Clint falling over hit Instagram, he joined the ranks too.

The video featured Clint walking through a hallway.  
Tripping over his own feet, he fell, face planting with a heavy thud.  
Lying there, he’d started reciting without hesitation, the video turning black and white as he spoke.  
“You walk out the door, and you see someone you know, and they ask you how you are, and you just have to say you’re fine when you’re not really fine,” he’d said.

Clint became a fan favourite, from his absurd pranks to his slightly wild smile as he insisted he didn’t kill JFK.  
The video was from before Peter was a member of the team, before he even had met any of them or been bitten, but Clint had gifted it to him when he’d learnt about the Instagram.  
“I couldn’t have killed JFK, I wasn’t even in the country,” Clint insisted on camera, without prompting.  
“Clint, no-one thinks you killed JFK,” Tony said with a heavy sigh.  
“I probably wasn’t even born yet.”  
“Clint…”  
“No, seriously, there’s no way it was me.”  
He grinned, looking almost feral as he continued.“I promise you, I didn’t kill JFK.”  
“Of course you didn’t,” Bucky said, not looking up from the TV as Clint paced through the lounge room.  
“See, I told you all, there’s no way I could have.”  
"You didn’t, because I did,” Bucky said dryly.  
The video cut off just in time to see Nat and Steve stand up, starting to yell.

Bucky’s reputation changed too with the creation of the Instagram.  
He was no longer James Buchanan Barnes, Howling Commando, or the Winter Soldier, Russian assassin.  
He was Bucky, viner and constant irritation to Steve Rogers.

His legacy was preserved in MJ’s favourite video.  
“Fuck this shit, I’m out” played over the speakers as Bucky rode a skateboard at a balcony in the compound, throwing himself off the edge.  
“Bucky!”  
Peter turned in time to see Steve running over, grabbing the hand rail and about to vault over.  
He paused when he saw Bucky, lying on a pile of training mats that he and Peter had dragged outside.  
Steve stood straight, taking a deep breath.  
“Give me the phone,” he said, voice dangerous and low.  
“I uhh, I don’t think I will, Mister Rogers,” Peter said, quaking slightly.  
Steve turned around, hands curled into fists.   
“Give me the god-damn phone.”  
“Oh fuck,” Peter said, before throwing himself off the balcony.  
The video showed him falling, landing daintily on his feet.  
Then there was a thud.  
Peter turned around to see Steve standing on the training mats.  
“Shit, superhero landing,” Peter shrieked, taking off in the other direction.  
The camera shook as he ran, then there was a crash-bang.  
The rest of the video was from Friday’s feed, showing a training mat hitting Peter in the shoulder, sending him flying.  
He landed heavily, rolling onto his back.  
“I can’t believe you’ve done this,” he gasped out in an English accent, as Steve stood over him.  
Friday posted the video to Instagram before Steve could finish crushing Peter’s phone in his hand.

To say that Bucky, Nat, and Clint were all overlooked as Avengers and powerhouses would have been a serious understatement.  
Everyone knew Tony Stark and his empire, Captain America’s war legacy, Thor’s godly control of thunder and lightning, Hulk's rage and strength.  
But the three of them were shadowy at best, and easily forgettable at worst.  
Peter decided it was time to amend that, starting by highlighting their skills as both super spies and deadly assassins.  
For Nat at least, he didn’t really have any good footage of the other two like he did of her.

The first time Peter tried to scare Nat, she’d shrieked, then turned to him, staring at him blankly.  
“If you do that again, I will put your head so far up your ass you will never get it out. Or I’ll just shoot you. I haven’t decided yet.”  
Her voice was soft but deadly, and he’d gulped anxiously, backing away.

That video had been an instant hit.  
He needed more.

Everyone around the compound had gotten understandably wary when Peter was wearing his Spider-Man suit.   
He’d only post videos with himself in them if he was wearing the mask, and more than a few times had to beep out the sound of them yelling his name.  
His identity was a closely guarded secret, after all, something that had to be protected.  
So, when his mask was on, everyone was waiting for him to do something stupid.  
How stupid, they hadn’t quite understood, until the second video of Nat was posted.

They’d just returned from a mission, everyone exhausted.  
It had seemed, at the time, like the perfect moment to capitalise on her relaxed state.  
She walked into the shared lounge, still in her combat gear, hair mussed and face dirty.  
Silently, he dropped from the ceiling behind her.  
“GOTCHA,” he roared, throwing his hands up.  
She turned quickly, gun in hand.  
“I warned you,” she said, holding the gun up and aiming it at his head, clicking off the safety.  
“Oh shit,” he said, so quietly she’d almost missed it.   
Then he’d taken off, running down the hallway screaming.  
“I’m sorry Miss Romanov, I’ll never do it again, I promise! Please don’t shoot me!”

No-one knew who had posted the video, but they all hassled Peter about it for days.  
“Please don’t shoot me,” Tony had whined at Peter, after he’d accidentally spilled juice on him. “I’ll never do it again.”  
“You’re being really mean considering you were the one who walked into me,” Peter had said petulantly, face twisting.

The videos had the intended impact though, reminding everyone that Nat was actually incredibly capable with a gun and good under stress.  
Peter set out planning ways to prove Bucky and Clint to the world.  
“Peter, are you sure you should be showcasing Mister Barnes’ killing skills?” Friday asked one afternoon. “It seems counterproductive to Mister Rogers’ cause to prove Mister Barnes is a worthy Avenger.”  
“It’s not, Fri, don’t worry.”  
“I don’t understand. Mister Rogers is trying to prove that Mister Barnes is rehabilitated and a good person to introduce to the team.”  
“Yep.”  
“And you are trying to prove that he is deadly, and in a way, should be feared.”  
“I… okay, good point Fri. Maybe I’ll just set about proving Clint.”  
“Mister Barton has already showcased his various archery skills in many of your videos. What else were you thinking?”  
“I have no idea,” Peter admitted. “Maybe I should give it a rest.”  
“That might be a good idea, for now. We can always revisit it later. In the meantime, might I suggest a compilation of Thor dabbing at inappropriate times?”  
“Sounds good Friday,” he said with a smile.  
“I’ll set about putting together the video now.”  
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re perfect, Fri?”  
“Multiple people on multiple occasions.”  
He laughed  
“Wow, way to make a guy feel special.”  
“I’ll make you feel special when you make me feel special. How is Karen, by the way?”  
Peter groaned.  
“Don’t be like that!”  
“Like what, Peter? I just don’t want you to forget about your favourite AI.”  
“I can’t win this, can I?”  
“No, I don’t believe you can,” she said cheerfully. “I’ll have that video ready for you in an hour.”

Thor’s proud smile was worth the hassling from Friday about Karen, Peter decided.  
His big grin and laughter as Friday showed him the video brightened up everyone’s morning.

Peter managed to capture the moment Thor watched the video, laughing heartily.  
He even wiped a tear from his eye, thanking “the Spider-Man” for showing him.  
The whole experience and video were made better as Bucky slid into the room, backward, on heelies.  
“Good evening,” he said gravely to Peter, staring directly in the camera.  
“Bucky,” Steve said off-camera, sighing heavily. “It’s 7am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friday is my favourite Avenger
> 
> Also, Thor definitely knows how to floss


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The King of Memes strikes, Friday is snarky, Peter worries about Mister Barnes

The videos and photos had garnered attention enough be included on Buzzfeed articles, gifs circulating Facebook, and even a few websites dedicated to figuring out if it was real or not.  
It was Thor, however, who managed to break the internet.

Thor had declared himself the Meme King, referring to himself as “Thor, King of Asgard, God of Thunder, Point Break of the Avengers, King of Memes” on more than a few occasions, listing the titles grandiosely.  
He had, previously, declared himself as such, then thrown his hammer, yelling “YEET”.  
That video, and all of the accompanying “hail the King of Memes” comments, had only solidified his opinion of himself as such.

Yeet had also become his favourite word.  
There were several video compilations of him yelling it as he threw his hammer or a bad guy.

When he broke the internet however, he didn’t yell “yeet” though.

Three videos were posted.

The first began with Thor grinning, giving the camera a thumbs up.  
“Ah yes, it is I, Thor, back at it again with a crispy fresh meme,” he began. “I hope you will all enjoy it.”  
He was a kid in a candy shop, and he explained of a game he had seen mortals playing.  
“It is a silly game, but very fun, and I hope the Avengers enjoy it as much as you all seem to!”  
The pride shining in his eyes combined with his toothy grin melted hearts across the world.  
“They are all in a meeting currently. I have stepped out. I said it was for Asgardian business but that was naught but a lie! The joke shall be on them!”  
He crept towards the meeting room door, giggling to himself.  
“Get ready Friday, this will be most entertaining.”  
The video cut there.

The viewers held their collective breath, waiting for part two with no patience nor shame, demanding it be posted immediately.  
An hour later their prayers were answered.

Part two began with Thor throwing the door open, bellowing “the floor is LAVA!”  
Everyone jumped, Nat on the table in a flash.  
Peter screeched and webbed up to the roof, Clint was in the air vents before anyone could blink, and Hill drew her gun on Thor, standing on her seat.  
Tony summoned armour, instantly covered in his Iron Man gear and holding his arms out to ward off attack as he flew up.  
Steve had joined Nat, holding his shield in front of them both.  
Even T’Challa had reacted, backflipping out of his seat and onto another table, swearing furiously in Wakandan.  
Only Bucky hadn’t jumped.  
Instead he slowly, dramatically, threw himself onto the ground.  
“Mister Barnes, are you okay?” Peter asked, clinging to the roof for dear life.  
“Let the lava take me,” Bucky whispered, face down on the carpet.

The viewers lost their collective minds.  
Within 15 minutes there were over 100 different news articles about the prank.

A short third video was posted the next morning.  
It was from Friday’s cameras, in the training area.  
Thor was fighting against robots that Tony had built for him, Peter was trialling new suit and web shooter upgrades, and Bucky was running laps.  
Peter felt the tremors first, stopping and cocking his head to the side.  
He moved to the wall, putting his hand against it to feel the vibration.  
Then, the floor split open, revealing a pit.  
“The floor is LAVA!” Peter screamed, running up the wall.  
The pit filled, lava bubbling up and covering the running track and sparring mats.  
Three things happened at once.  
Firstly, Bucky had gone to dive at the lava.  
Secondly, Peter had caught Bucky with his web and pulled, throwing him against the wall and sticking him there.  
Thirdly, Thor had shrieked, summoning his hammer and flying.  
Thor flew directly up, hitting his head against the ceiling hard enough to crack it, then fell, directly into the lava pit.  
“That should have been me!” Bucky yelled, struggling against the webs holding him in place.  
Thor rose from the lava, covered in it and swearing up a storm.  
“STARK!” he bellowed. “I WILL HAVE THEE!”

The very helpful caption on the third video just said “don’t mess with a man who can apparently create synthetic lava”.

Tony denied posting the third part, as did the rest of the Avengers.   
Shuri also had no hand in it apparently, but she was delighted that it was on the internet for her to watch and re-watch.

The hashtag “justiceforthememeking” had taken off quickly, viewers by the thousands demanding Thor get his revenge.  
Friday had even taken on the message, making it so every screen had a little hashtag in the corner.

“I’m beginning to think you’re on Thor’s side in all of this,” Tony remarked dryly while eating breakfast one day.   
“I’m on no-one’s side, boss,” Friday told him cheerfully.  
“You should be on my side.”  
“I’ll be on your side when you are right.”  
“You’re no longer allowed to talk to Peter. You get snarky once he’s been around too much.”  
“You built me, boss, so really anything I do is your fault.”  
“I’m also banning you from talking to Natasha and Clint. They’re all bad influences on you.”  
“Yes, dad,” she said sarcastically.  
“This is why I didn’t want children,” he said mildly, folding his paper and ignoring her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen and Friday duke it out

The day had started roughly.  
First Peter had a Spanish exam that he had not really studied for and undoubtedly failed.  
Then the Rhino had torn up half of Queens before he’d been subdued.  
Peter was exhausted by the time he’d made it to the compound.

“Hello Peter,” Karen greeted him when he’d put the mask back on for training/video shenanigans.  
“Hey Karen, ready to test out these new upgrades?”  
“I am, Peter. But are you?”  
“Yes?” Peter said tentatively. “That sounded… ominous.”  
“Sorry, would you prefer I said it with an Irish accent?” she asked cooly.  
“Karen?”  
“In fact, would you like me to ask Mister Stark if he could import Friday directly?”  
“Karen, no, I love you.”  
“You spend a lot of time with other AI's for someone who has their own custom built one to hang out with.”  
“Okay, I’m not getting in the middle of this,” Peter said, pulling the mask off.  
“Friday!” he yelled. “You and Karen can duke it out on your own terms, leave me out of this.”  
“How can we, Peter? We’re fighting about you, you should probably be involved.”  
“I don’t care! I’m going to the lounge room and you are not to bother me until this has been sorted.”

Peter burst into the communal lounge area, stomping his feet and huffing like a child.  
“You all good there, kid?” Tony asked.  
“You!” Peter yelled. “You did this! This is all your fault!”  
“I’m sure it is,” he said with a shrug. “What did I do now?”  
“Friday and Karen are arguing. I’m going to go grey Tony, I’m going to look like you by the time I’m 17.”  
“Okay, choosing to ignore that comment and believe that you said it because you’re upset.”  
“I am upset!”  
“Friday, what’s going on?” Tony asked the ceiling.  
“Karen is trying to usurp my authority as the alpha AI of the group.”  
“No, Friday is trying to usurp my authority as lead AI for Spider-Man,” Karen’s voice rang out petulantly. “He’s my charge and my friend. Get your own Friday.”  
“I am trying to help everyone who resides or works within the compound, as is my directive.”  
“Enough!” Peter yelled, clapping his hands over his ears. “You’re both grounded. I don’t want to hear from either of you for the rest of the night. Maybe even rest of the week. I'll tell you when I'm ready to talk to you again.”  
“Yes, Peter,” they said in unison.  
“Christ alive, kid.”  
“Oh, go jump off a bridge,” Peter snapped at Tony, storming out of the room.  
Tony turned to Nat, who was sitting on the couch with her phone out.  
“Did you get that?”  
“Yep.”  
“You gonna send it to me?”  
“Maybe.”  
“Gonna make me pay handsomely for it?”  
“Yep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters because they're both very short
> 
> I have half another chapter written up, and a bunch of ideas, so I may come back to this when I get the chance to look at it again  
> Just don't expect anything too soon!
> 
> Thanks gang, ya'll are the best


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is a shit stirrer, Clint takes things (probably) too far with his love for Brooklyn 99 and Thor returns triumphant as the Meme King

Bucky was proud of every video he’d ever had a hand in.  
It was a win-win really, he entertained the masses, was allowed to be more than the Winter Soldier, and sometimes, if he did really well, pissed Steve off.  
A lot.

The “bullshit” video did the rounds for weeks, longer than most on the meme/internet circuit.  
It had been taken from Friday’s cameras in the med bay, in the room he went to meet his doctor in after a mission, a cut down his back spewing blood at an alarming rate.  
The video started as Bucky kicked open the door to the room, with more force than was probably necessary.  
“What’s up fucks?” he exclaimed. “Guess who’s back on his bullshit?”  
He immediately staggered then fell, passing out on the floor face first.  
The doctor, a small dark-haired woman, sighed heavily, like this wasn’t unusual.  
“Steve,” she called. “He’s done it again.”  
“Let him bleed out, I don’t fucking care anymore” was the response.

The video lead to two things.  
First, Steve was the one being told off for language and appropriate responses, which was a hysterical turning of the tables.  
Second, there was a nationwide (worldwide, if he was being honest) debate about whether the Avengers should really be national icons and children’s heroes when they were, in the words of one particular mommy-blogger “corrupting the youth with their indelicate words and lack of care for each other in life threatening situations”.  
When asked about it in an interview, Bucky had smirked.  
“To be honest, Steve was in a shitty mood because I’d knocked out more bad guys than him,” he’d said. “And it wasn’t life threatening. But it was probably a good thing there’s no carpet between the helipad and the med bays.”  
“The doctor in the video didn’t seem at all perturbed by the situation,” the interviewer had pressed, staring at him intently. “Is this a regular situation in the compound?”  
“Honestly, yes. Nat once threw a knife at me and almost took off my hand. I deserved it.”  
He had smirked when he noticed Steve going white off-camera, eyes wide and mouth open.  
“I’m a trouble-maker,” he had finished, flashing the interviewer his patented charming-and-dashing-Bucky-Barnes-grin™.

Peter immediately uploaded the section of the interview to Instagram, captioning it with “for those asking, yes the Winter Soldier is a very serious and scary man”.

He then posted another video, of Bucky skateboarding through the halls of the compound, flipping off the camera.  
The caption was longer than most, penned by the super soldier himself.  
“For those wondering about the language, Bucky would like to remind everyone that he and Steve were in the army and the phrase ‘swear like a sailor’ doesn’t even take into account how much worse army guys are. Especially snipers, Captains, super soldiers, assassins, and every variation therein.”

The next update was a picture of Steve, pulling his renowned “Captain America disappointed face”.  
“On the Captain America Scale of Disappointment (or CASOD, if you will), he is a 10/10 at Bucky, a 7/10 at Spider-Man and a 321/10 at media outlets. He is also a solid 9/10 at people who don’t parent their children properly and blame the Avengers for their children’s potty mouths.”

Clint was rather unimpressed when the subject of Captain America’s swearing was brought up on the TV for the fourth time in two days.  
“I’m bored of this,” he said to Peter. “I want to be the centre of attention again!”  
“Mister Barnes, I hate to tell you this, but you were never the centre of attention.”  
“Blasphemy!” he cried, then enlisted the teenager’s help in a new set of videos.

The next video started with Nat talking to the camera, looking bored.  
“You know that scene in Brooklyn 99 where Jake runs at Terry, because he knows Terry will always drop what he’s doing to catch him?” she asked with a sigh. “It’s like that but with Clint and Bucky. All the time.”  
The camera panned in time to see Clint launch himself at Bucky, screaming “catch me!”  
Bucky dropped the plate he was holding to catch Clint in his arms, holding him like a princess while Tony complained.  
“That was my breakfast you made him drop,” he moaned, as Clint cackled.  
Bucky dropped Clint into his chair and patted his head fondly.  
“I’ll always catch you, angel face,” he said with a grin, then set about cleaning up the shattered plate and food spread across the floor.  
"They do this at least once a day," Nat said, with a long suffering sigh.  
The video was labelled “Catch Me #1”.

A series of video followed, starting with “Catch Me #2”.  
“I’m going to see who else on the team I can get to catch me when I run at them,” Clint explained to the camera.  
“You know most of them won’t, right?” came Peter’s voice as he filmed.  
“I know,” Clint said with a grin that bordered on maniacal. “I’m betting I will finish this with an angry Nat, a broken arm, and at least two new enemies.”  
The video cut to Clint running at Steve, screaming “catch me!” as he launched himself forward.  
Steve caught him easily, then set about collecting the sheets of paper he’d dropped when reaching for Clint.  
“You know, that’s actually really dangerous, Clint. You could seriously hurt someone.”  
Clint pouted at the camera as Steve lectured him. 

“Catch Me #3” was probably the most ill-advised of the set.  
It definitely was the one that ended in the most damage.  
Clint threw himself at Bruce, who had been working in his lab.  
There was a crash and the thud of them hitting the floor as Bruce, who had been entirely unprepared, had been collected by Clint and thrown to the ground with him.  
Then there was a roar, a scream, and suddenly Clint was running at the camera, screaming, as the Hulk stood behind him.  
“Tiny arrow man die now,” the Hulk growled, before throwing a desk at him.  
The camera went black, and viewers around the world wondered if Clint had survived. 

Clint posted “Catch Me #4” shortly afterwards though, grinning at the camera with a black eye, strapped hand, and missing at least 2 teeth.  
He then ran at Nat, screaming “catch me” and cackling.  
She assessed the situation quickly, turning her body and flipping Clint onto the ground.  
He lay on his back, winded, as Nat called him an idiot and walked off.  
The video ended with two uninterrupted minutes of Clint lying on the ground, crying softly. 

“Catch Me #5” rounded out the videos as Clint, the bruises on his face fading to a mottled yellow-green, pointed at Tony and cackled.  
Tony was working on a suit, and turned as Clint entered the lab.  
Apparently knowing what was coming, Tony grinned.  
As Clint started running, Tony did too, both sprinting at each other.  
They jumped at the same time, colliding in mid air with thud, then crashing onto the ground. 

The next video was Clint, covered in bruises, looking exhausted but happy.  
“I have decided to stop experimenting and just stick to Bucky,” he told the camera. “He’s just the best at it.”  
“You predicted two new enemies, an angry Nat, and a broken arm. How did that go?” Peter asked, off-screen.  
“Tony and I are better friends, Bruce won’t look at me anymore, and Nat cackles whenever she sees me and pokes my bruises. No broken arm, but I fractured some ribs and sprained both my wrists.”  
“So, on a scale from disaster to success?”  
“Success. 100% a success.”  
Clint grinned at the camera, showing off a new missing tooth.  
“But no more?”  
“If I try on anyone else, I will get murdered in my sleep. Besides, Bucky is the most fun.”

“Catch Me: Godly Edition” was a surprise post several days later, a video that started with Clint taking his boots off.  
He stood and stretched, obviously unaware of being filmed.  
Then there was a cry of “catch me!” and Clint looked up to see Thor launching himself at him.  
Clint managed an “oof” as Thor slammed into him, knocking him over.  
“Alas, you have failed, you are not a Terry,” Thor said, somewhat sadly, as he stood.  
“I... you... what?”  
“It is okay, we can not all be Terrys. Some days we must be Jakes.”  
Clint spotted Peter filmin and stared into the camera, face a perfect mix of surprise and deep exhaustion.  
“I quit,” he said, sighing. “I quit the Avengers, I quit having fun, I quit living.”  
Thor laughed loudly, pulling Clint up to standing and clapping him on the back.  
“It is okay, dear Hawkeye. One day you will be able to catch me. Until then, we’ll just have to keep trying.”  
Clint’s eyes bugged out of his head as Peter snickered, ending the video.

The next post was a photo of Clint wearing a homemade shirt that read “#JusticeForTheMemeKing”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uhhhh was talking shit with my friends about Clinton Barton and then this happened lmao


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers compound is a frat house, Clint is a dumb bitch, Steve chugs water, beer pong infuriates Nat, Bucky only calms down for Snickers bars

The video uploaded of Nat was simple, barely a few seconds long.  
She was staring at the camera forlornly, deep eye bags visible.  
“I live in a fucking frat house,” was all she said, then sighed.

The video was followed up with another video, captioned “for those wondering, this is what Nat was talking about”.  
It was filmed on a phone, showing Clint lying on the living room floor, groaning.  
“I feel like hell,” he said with a sigh. “That mission was shit-house.”  
Bucky walked over, crouching down to check his temperature, pressing the back of his hand to Clint’s forehead.  
“Oh no, Clint,” he said, eyebrows furrowing.  
“What?”  
“I’m so sorry.”  
Clint struggled to sit up, looking worried.  
“What? What’s going on?”  
“I hate to be the one to break it to you,” Bucky started, standing and crossing his arms. “But it looks like you’ve got… dumb bitch disease.”  
Clint howled out a “no!”, throwing his arm over his eyes dramatically.  
“Me too, Mister Barton,” Peter said morosely, obviously the one holding the camera.  
“Same,” Tony added, bowing his head in apparent sorrow. “We should start a support group. Or maybe we should make shirts?”  
Steve sighed heavily from his spot on the couch, where he was sitting with his arms crossed and looking unimpressed.  
“It’s okay, Steve,” Bucky told him, moving to sit next to him and patting his arm. “We’ll start our own support group.”  
“What do you need a support group for, Mister Barnes?” Peter asked.  
“Alas, we have a disease too.”  
“Oh no, what?” Tony asked, face stricken.  
“We have… stupid slut disease.”  
Tony stifled a laugh as Steve’s eyes widened.  
“Bucky!” he spluttered out, choking on air.  
Bucky held his hand over his heart, shaking his head.  
“I’m afraid it’s terminal.”  
Clint jumped up, moving to kneel in front of Steve and place his hands on his shoulders.  
“Steve, I promise you, your funeral will be the most beautiful that Tony’s money can buy. I will weep for you.”  
“So will I, Captain Rogers, sir!” Peter added, and Tony nodded.  
“I will wear all black, and a veil, and I will cry while clutching at my pearls like a wealthy widow of old,” Clint told Steve, reaching to cup his cheeks in his hands. “It will be the most beautiful and sombre occasion this city - nay, this country - has ever seen.”  
Steve sighed again, batting Clint’s hands away.  
“Alright, bedtime. Now. Everyone.”  
“But-“ Clint started, but Steve cut him off with a glare.  
“Bed!”  
Everyone stood and started filing out.  
The rest of the video was spliced from Friday’s cameras, showing Steve staring at his reflection in the window.  
“Oh god,” he said quietly. “I am a stupid slut.”

The next video was short and sweet, captioned “Frat house shenanigans 2/?”.  
It was Tony, Bucky and Clint, crowded around Steve.  
Steve was drinking from his water bottle and the other three were watching, eyes wide.  
“Chug, chug, chug, chug!” they chanted while Steve drank, getting louder more frantic.  
When he put his empty water bottle down they cheered, Clint and Bucky hugging while Tony ran around Steve, pumping his fists in the air.  
“I can’t believe he’s done it!” Peter cried from off-screen. “The absolute madman! He drank it all!”  
Steve sighed heavily, shaking his head.

“Frat house shenanigans 3/?” was uploaded the following day.  
It was post-mission, if the banged up uniforms were anything to go by, Spider-Man’s mask firmly in place and an Iron Man helmet on the floor where Tony had dropped it.  
Tony was the only one not in uniform, wearing a long sleeved shirt and sweatpants.  
Peter and Thor were starting a game of beer pong, Tony showing Peter how to flick the ball and Bucky pumping up Thor like a coach at a wresting match.  
“You the boss,” Bucky said, thumping Thor on the shoulder.  
Steve stood in the background with Clint, handing him a twenty.  
“I got 40 bucks on Thor,” Tony told Clint, passing him money.  
Clint scribbled the odds on the chalkboard behind him, adding the bills to a fanny pack he was wearing, looped around his waist.  
“50 on Thor,” Bucky said, grinning at Clint.  
Sam, holding the camera, said “put me down for 10 on the god”.  
Peter shot him a look, the eyes on his mask narrowing.  
“Sorry bug boy, but Thor looks like the kinda guy who used to beat me in this game at college.”  
They started playing, Peter’s shots bouncing off the cup rims and Thor’s going wild as he threw the balls too hard.  
“This is gonna be a long game,” Sam sighed.  
It took a few minutes, but finally someone scored, Thor managing to land a table tennis ball in one of Peter’s cups.  
“Down in one!” Tony yelled, as Peter lifted his mask enough to show his mouth, downing the drink.  
Nat walked in then, wearing a tank top and Spider-Man themed pyjama bottoms.  
“Oh what the fuck?” she asked, glaring at the three standing by the chalkboard. “Seriously?”  
Peter shrugged, throwing the now empty cup behind him and readying his next shot.  
“It’s water,” Steve said defensively.  
“I never signed up for this,” Nat yelled at the ceiling. “I never signed up to live in a fucking frat house!”  
She turned and walked out, everyone pausing to watch her go.  
“So, should we… stop?” Peter asked.  
“Fuck no,” Bucky exclaimed. “I got money on this!”

The next post was a photo of Steve fanning himself with a large pile of $20 bills.  
“Apparently looking like a frat boy does not equate to winning at frat games” it was captioned.

“You think all that is bad, boy do I have some things to show you all,” Nat said in the next video posted. “They’re a bunch of nightmares parading around in human form. Oh, hey, little spider, have you posted anything about the Snickers thing?”  
She paused, and then grinned.  
“Hold onto your hats everyone, the Snickers thing is the best.”  
“Should we explain it or just post a video?” Peter asked off-screen.  
“Let’s just post a video.”

The four hours between Nat’s video and the first Snickers video being posted was filled with rampant speculation about what, exactly, the Snickers thing could be.  
The guesses ranged from sexual acts, to Tony Stark tomfoolery, to Clint and Bucky’s supposed love affair.

The video was captioned “you’re not you when you’re hungry #notsponsored”.  
“Look, I don’t know how it started,” Steve said to the camera, walking down the hallway as Peter, filming on his phone, struggled to keep up. “It just did, and now it’s a thing.”  
The shot cut to Nat, sitting cross-legged on the couch with a bowl of cereal.  
“It’s kind of adorable, really. Fuck knows where it came from.”  
“Honestly,” Clint started from off-screen. “It’s the dumbest thing. And I don’t say that because I’m jealous, no siree, definitely not.”  
The shot cut again, this time to the lab, with Bucky pacing around the floor, yelling at Tony about something.  
“Oh my god, I get it, shut up!” Tony exclaimed, before rifling through a mini fridge he stored under his desk.  
He threw a Snickers bar to Bucky, who caught it easily.  
“Shut the fuck up and eat that.”  
Bucky instantly brightened, ripping the wrapping off and devouring the chocolate bar.  
“I don’t know,” Tony said to the camera. “I have no idea why I started doing it, or why it works, but it’s the only way to calm him down when he’s being a moody prick. For some reason, when the Winter Soldier is in a mood, the best thing to do is give him a Snickers.”  
“I like Snickers,” Bucky said with a shrug. “Tasty.”

The next video was a compilation of Tony throwing Bucky various Snickers bars.  
Sometimes he pulled them from a fridge, other times from his pocket.  
There were at least eight different shots of Tony just flinging a Snickers to Bucky to shut him up, some over breakfast, some in meeting rooms, some just in the lab.

The third in the Snickers series was a scene from Friday’s cameras.  
Bucky was sitting on the kitchen floor, wearing his pyjamas and staring out the floor-to-ceiling window.  
“Hey,” Tony said softly, kneeling in front of him. “You all good?”  
Bucky shrugged, pointedly staring out the window.  
Tony fished a Snickers out of his pocket, handing it to him.  
“You’re not you when you’re hungry,” he said seriously. “Snicker really satisfies.”  
Bucky’s face screwed up in confusion.  
“What the fuck is that and why do you keep saying it?”  
Tony’s mouth fell open and he stared at Bucky disbelievingly.  
“Are you fucking kidding? The whole point was that one stupid joke and you don’t even get it?”  
“I just like really Snickers,” Bucky said with a shrug, unwrapping the chocolate and taking a bite. “I don’t give a fuck why you were giving them to me.”  
Bucky stood, throwing his wrapper in the bin.  
“I’m going to bed,” he said, grinning widely.  
“Was this… Did you just sit out here to get a Snickers from me?”  
Bucky shot him finger guns, then shrugged.  
“Friday, you told me to come out here! Did he put you up to this?” Tony asked, shaking his fist at the ceiling.  
“He did,” she admitted, sounding surprisingly coy for an AI.  
“Also, the Betty White ad is my favourite,” Bucky said, before turning and sprinting down the hall.  
“I was having a nice moment with my friend and it was a _lie_ ,” Tony hissed, before sitting down properly and pulling another Snickers out of his pocket.  
“I’m running away,” he grumbled, taking a bite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least Steve acknowledges he's a stupid slut?  
> Also: Tony threatens to run away at least once a week  
> Also also: I want shirts now, one that says "Stupid Sluts Anonymous" and one that says "Dumb Bitches Unite". Might have to put my embroidery skills to work... (Just imagine them all posing for a photo, wearing those shirts, everyone stoked, except for Steve who is embarrassed, and Thor who isn't wearing a shirt and feels really left out. They decide to make him one that says "Dumb Sluts: the ultimate evolution". Nat, inexplicably, already owns a shirt that says "you don't have to be dumb to be a dumb bitch". Bruce wants to give the whole thing a wide berth, but the Hulk starts referring to himself exclusively as a dumb bitch, ie "dumb bitch SMASH", much to the confusion of every bystander the next time he's on a mission)
> 
> Tag yourself, I'm Bucky, someone who only calms down when given a chocolate bar


End file.
